


Jouch (jean couch)

by Exotic_burrito



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, M/M, This Is STUPID, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:27:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25872847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exotic_burrito/pseuds/Exotic_burrito
Summary: I have NO idea why I wrote this but Naruto gets a jouch (jean couch) and Sasuke isn't impressed
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Jouch (jean couch)

It had been a long day. All Sasuke wanted was to come home from the mission and sit down on his soft couch. His feet were fucking perishing because he'd been walking so long. Sasuke reached for the door handle and just before he touched it, it swung open.

"Don't get mad," Naruto said. At first he thought it was about him wearing his secret flamingo boxers, but he peered behind him and almost sobbed.

"Ah fuck." He shoved past Naruto to get a proper look at the monstrosity. "I can't believe you've done this." 

There, sitting where his squishy, fluffy couch used to be, was a couch made from denim. It was patchy and looked like a quilt. Sasuke would have preferred to come home and see a couch made from human skin. 

"Look, it's like a normal couch." Naruto sat on the thing Sasuke refused to believe was an actual couch. "But more!"

"What the fuck. What does 'more' mean???" 

Naruto stood on It and Sasuke instantly regretting not killing him all those years ago. The blonde put his hands on his knees, crouched down and Threw It Back so hard he went head first into a plant.

"Herman no…" Sasuke mourned the death of his house plant. Considering beating his partner to death was definitely something he did daily, but he put it off for now. 

"Damn, I'm sorry. Would a kiss make it better?"

"No. The revival of Herman is not a choice anymore. He is gone."

"Would a kiss make you better?"

Sasuke considered. He was tired, but death made him horny so he took him up on that offer. They moved to the "couch" and started. 

(I can't think of a funny way to write a make out session so ✨😌✌️)

"Wait, wait," Sasuke said, pulling away. "I can't do this. Not on this hideous couch."

"Jouch. It's a jouch."

"I'm fucking sorry??" Sasuke felt like slapping a bitch just HEARING that word.

"It's a jouch." Naruto caressed the patches of the co- jouch. "A jean couch. Jouch."

Sasuke did, indeed, slap a bitch.


End file.
